It’s been two glorious months with my black skirt, and I’ll be honest: I started feeling as though I’d conquered Upper School. So it brought me down a peg to find out that the word sophomore is actually a compound of the ancient Greek words wise and moron. Reflecting on the “wisdom” I’ve acquired over the past couple years, that definition’s pretty spot on.
In 7th Grade history, I got a D on our first United States geography quiz. It was pretty embarrassing, especially because I had to discuss my utter failure with Mrs. Drobnick right afterwards. I recovered and even wound up taking AP U.S. History three years later, but to this day, I have to remind myself that New Hampshire is not part of Massachusetts.
Teachers often express sympathy about how much homework their students have. However, I’ve learned to be wary when making Netflix recommendations in their vicinity. It’s easy for them to assume your homework load is not copious enough if you were able to watch four episodes of Gilmore Girls the previous night.
Worrying about your image is pointless. Last year, I started getting shin splints from my ice-hockey training, so I became a regular subscriber to KT muscle tape. Unfortunately to correct shin splints, the strips of tape must be applied in a fashion that looks like the Christian Cross. Walking around with giant black tape forming the symbol of Jesus’s crucifixion on both my shins, I got accustomed to stares and curious comments.
Over the years, I’ve grown more and more passionate about rap music, but only recently did I realize that rap jargon can fit seamlessly into everyday conversation. At dinner the other night, my mom told me not to apply butter to my pasta with my hands, and I quoted Chance the Rapper back to her: “Ughh! I’m just having fun with it!”
This brings me to a great mantra: Just have fun with it! Early on, I was forced to come to terms with my lack of street cred, and to accept the fact that my dabbing makes people cringe. So although your Snapchat followers may be embarrassed for you after watching the third consecutive video of you lip syncing the Hamilton soundtrack with the Giant Chin Filter, go ahead and post it anyway.
Your dreams will ultimately come true! But they’ll happen to other people, not you. After recently losing to a team of high school boys, my hockey team watched in confusion as the boys brought a giant painted banner onto the ice. I thought, “Aww, that’s courteous…they must have made this to thank us for playing them…” Nope. They spread it out and “HOMECOMING?” was written in huge red letters. One of the boys brought out a bouquet of flowers and faced whom I assumed was his girlfriend in the crowd. Meanwhile, I felt pretty cheated, as I had fantasized about this exact scenario happening to me all throughout Middle School. But what did I get instead? My coach yelling at me to pick up the pucks.
In conclusion, there’s a common belief that life gets better over time. Especially for freshmen—nowhere to go but up, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, my life is proof that the “come up” is either nonexistent or severely delayed. I guess I’ll accept the wise moron identity for now.
