Dear Mikaela,

I made a serious mistake. Like, the worst news bears. Basically, one of my closest friends had this boyfriend for about four months last year.  They were a good couple but didn’t have time to see each other that often, so they mutually agreed to break up.  That was about a year ago.  Fast forward to last weekend, and somehow I ended up…well we ended up…well, I hooked up with him. YES I know. I made out with my friend’s ex-boyfriend. And now my friend won’t talk to me! I know she has a valid point (I hate me too!), but I value my friendship too much to just let it go. PLEASE HELP ME.

Sincerely,

Oops

Dear Oops,

Oh God. This is bad.  I mean, I know I don’t have to tell you that — obviously you know it’s bad — but just so you know, this is really really bad.  Like on a scale of zero to really really bad, I think you know where you stand (hint: really really bad). But, I’m not going to make you feel bad about it (well, not any more). As my personal role model Hannah Montana says: everybody makes mistakes. So let’s move on to the next step: making it better.

Now, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you don’t have feelings for this guy (and also that if you do, you’re going to put them aside, because your friend will probably never be cool with you being in a relayshay with her ex), and that the hook up was out of boredom or some kind of… impaired judgment. To make things right with your friend, you need to first reconcile yourself with the fact that she may or may not be willing to forgive you right now. She might need time, and pushing her into anything right now is not a good idea. Start by apologizing, and do so sincerely. Clearly you feel bad, so please don’t be a smart-ass with your apology. Make it heartfelt. Then, all you can do is wait and be honest with her. Answer her questions, and wait for her to be comfortable enough to let you back into her life. You can’t control her response, but you can control yours. So stop beating yourself up. You made a mistake, but you need to forgive yourself and not let this ruin your life. She’ll get over it, eventually. Oh, and for similar situations next time, here’s a little poem to remember:

You see a boy without a chick,

And you think you’ve seen him before,

But oh no! He’s the guy in your bestie’s profile pic,

DON’T hook up with him or you’ll feel like a slore.

Love,

Mikaela