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Marlborough School Student Newspaper
The Student News Site of Marlborough School

The UltraViolet

The Student News Site of Marlborough School

The UltraViolet

To kill a mocking-book
To kill a mocking-book
February 21, 2024

Dear Mikaela, from Face-ing the Truth

photo by flickr user lululemon athletica

Dear Mikaela,

This is kind of embarrassing, so I’m just going to come right out and say it: I am addicted to Facebook.  What do I do?

Sincerely,

Face-ing the Truth

Dear Face-ing,

It is so brave of you to admit this.  Like any Facebookaholic, the first thing I want you to know is that you are not alone.  For those of us who update our statuses five times a day, think poking someone is the equivalent of greeting them, or get personally insulted when someone has a party and the photos are not up the next day, just remember that there is hope. The first and most effective way to give up the ‘book is to give it up cold turkey (which has always been my favorite expression—what does it even mean?!).  This is only a temporary solution, and hopefully a week or two of “normal human interaction” will remind you of the beauty of laughing out loud at joke as opposed to simply ‘liking’ it or commenting ‘lol’.  Another less drastic way to wean yourself off is to employ the services of a website blocker, which will limit the time you can be on a certain website. This is particularly useful if you think the shock of quitting will be too much for you to handle (nobody wants you to get hurt- we’re here to help. We love you).  Finally, the easiest and most painless way to get unaddicted (it’s a word, I swear) to Facebook is to get addicted to something else (preferably food or another website; let’s avoid hardcore drugs and the like).

Love,

Mikaela

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    alexApr 6, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    mikaela, in your column, you strike a glorious combination of humor and thorough advice 🙂 i can’t wait to read more.

    Reply