Each and everyone one of us has, at some point in our lives, experienced a nerve-racking interview. Maybe your Marlborough admissions interview comes to mind, or an interview for an internship, or even that guy who literally asked you a billion questions before finally asking for your number (also, no, not worth it #stopinterrogatingme). The thing is, interviews are pretty much the absolute worst. But if you think baring your soul to a stodgy potential employer/ admissions officer/ date is bad, allow me to tell you the top six tried and true ways to make the situation just a smidgen worse.

The top six things to never, ever do in an interview:

1. Ask the interviewer when she’s due (because OMG she’s not pregnant, she’s just fat).

2. Bend and snap, at any time, for any reason.

3. Imply that you are part of any kind of terrorist organization to amp up your street cred; most employers/people are not into that.

4. Ask your interviewer if your shirt is see-through, or tell your interviewer that hers/his is.

5. Interrupt your interviewer by banging your hands on the table and screaming, “This whole court room is out of order!” (even if the whole court room is, in fact, out of order).

6. Mention your weird hobby, because even though cookie jar collecting is like your life and you have a feeling that your interviewer is a fellow “ceramophile,” she probably isn’t, because that’s actually the weirdest thing ever.

Just follow these donts and you should be all set to wow those college admissions folks!