My friends and I have always taken great pleasure in making and carrying out different bits. I would go as far as to say that the reason I look forward to coming to Marlborough each morning is the pursuit of a good bit. A bit—otherwise known as a gimmick, inside joke or a shtick—can be as simple as a word, or as elaborate as a plan to swap personalities with someone in your friend group for an entire day.
One of the most important documents to come out of Marlborough’s college writing workshop was neither my personal statement nor my supplemental essays, but rather a comprehensive Notes app filled with “Senior Year Bits.” The list started as all great lists do, with a very loud, poorly-timed sneeze during a lecture about the college admissions process. My friends and I noticed that while “bless you” is the universal response to a sneeze, there isn’t a universal response to a cough. “What a great bit it would be to have a funny phrase that we say when someone coughs,” I thought. A brainstorm began, and the list was born.
The list itself is too long to include word-for-word in this article, but I’ll share some of its most creative and whimsical bits. First, fruit code names for everyone. This one is a fun spin on a middle school classic: calling your crush “pineapple” or “avocado” instead of their actual name for the sake of keeping things on the down-low. One of the most enjoyable applications of this is seeing a teacher walk down the hall, turning to each other, and saying, “don’t look now but pineapple is right behind you.” It’s a crowd pleaser every single time.
Next, showing up to school in a full face of 2016-style makeup and not addressing it. My four friends and I agreed to do this at least once in the first semester. None of us have achieved this goal yet, but if you see me on campus with a cut-crease and a blue Kylie Lip Kit on, you’ll know that I am simply committing to the bit.
Some of our ideas for phrases to say when someone coughs were “gender equality,” “I hope you are well, dear friend,” “golly gee” and “I’ve been waiting for this one…turn it up!”
Finally, my personal favorite, calling every physically demanding task a “half Ironman.” I think the concept of training for a half Ironman is really funny. I might as well be training for a half Ironman with how many times I have to carry my ten-pound Norton Anthology up and down the stairs on the days I have Honors English Seminar.
Coming up with and executing bits like these brings me so much joy, not just because I love to make people laugh, but also because I think it is extremely valuable to disrupt the cycle of every school day feeling the same. Marlborough is one of very few communities I have encountered where people will not judge you for pursuing a good bit. Senior year is a lot, and Marlborough can be really stressful. Having been here for almost six years now, my advice to everyone reading is to commit to as many bits as possible and joke around with your friends every single day. It’s good for the soul. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.
