Give us something to gossip about

As much as I am trying to embrace my inner know-it-all that is essential to the senior persona, right now I am feeling as confused about my school as a seventh grader fresh off the Catalina boat. How can an establishment that encourages us to speak up about controversial issues now put its figurative hands over our mouths without shame?

Marlborough, much like the teenage girls that its ever-graceful halls contain, has its phases. My seventh grade year was marked by lectures on the evils of theft after numerous incidents of stealing were reported. More recent was the Era of the Recycling Bins. Who could forget the countless videos threatening physical assault upon students who dared let a glass bottle go to waste?

However, I have quite a bone to pick with the new subject of recent lectures: gossiping.

I have now sat through about three meetings in which both my class and others’ were chided like toddlers for utilizing our school’s social grapevine. So far, the only effect I’ve seen is no effect, unless you count the resentment for being treated so condescendingly. As much as America’s guidance counselors would jump to disagree, gossip is inevitable. When was the last time you heard of a school successfully eradicating the exchange of rumors from its campus? And no, last night’s episode of
Hannah Montana does not count.

The point is, gossip is and will always be a foundation of our society. We are a species that thrives on communication, and especially in this day and age, the spread of information is unstoppable. The only way to truly restrict gossiping is to make it a punishable offense, and this is not an option. Why? Because (and AP US students will back me up on this) the censorship of gossip is a violation of the First Amendment. And to be honest, to hear my fellow students be reprimanded for raising concern about certain incidents around the school is enough to cause my hand to reach for my pocket United States Constitution.

It’s time for the Marlborough establishment to admit there are some aspects of a teenage society beyond their control–and perhaps channel their energy into a more productive realm. A suggestion: we have not had a single speaker this year. Perhaps if that was provided, it would give us something more interesting to talk about than the latest trivial mishap.