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Lulu’s Lemonade: The Pros and Cons of Junior Year

In 7th Grade, when faced with our first and only final of the year, we took dramatic snaps of flashcards spread all out over the desk captioned, “SO stressed for finals.” We felt indignant towards the eleventh graders who mocked our fanatic use of the word “stress” to describe what, looking back, really was just a glorified test. But now I am one of those dismissive eleventh graders, preoccupied with how to get into college without having cured cancer or stopped global warming.

Clearly Marlborough feels the need to compensate for the last four years of stress by giving us a few perks. When musing on the juxtaposition of our newfound independence with the overall sucky-ness of junior year, I decided to organize a pros and cons list.

Pro: Juniors are allowed in the Collins Room, which means our days of sneaking lunch past Ms. Gomez into the ARC cubicles are over!

Con: On the first day of school I tried to postmate a sandwich from Larchmont and eat it in the quiet, air conditioned paradise of Collins, only to find that we are no longer allowed to Postmate to school or eat in Collins. I guess this marks the beginning of a new era in which we sneak food past Señora Battiata instead.

Pro: We don’t have morning advisory anymore. No more sprinting up the stairs at 7:56 a.m., texting my fellow advisory members to please tell Ms. Weisman that I am “OMW cmming as fast as I can!”

Con: Now I’m just marked late to my first class instead of advisory.

Pro: Juniors can leave campus for lunch, which means no more longing stares at seniors’ takeout food!

Con: Because I failed my license test (due to a conspiracy at the Melrose DMV), I planned to get around my vehicle/postmating limitations by signing out of school for lunch and simply meeting my Postmates driver on Rossmore. This plan was thwarted when I found out juniors can only use their lunch privilege once a week when their free periods align with lunch. #notmylunchprivilege

Con: The most disturbing development this year has unquestionably been the school-wide ban on black turtlenecks. Not targeted specifically at juniors, this decision has had serious repercussions. I understand the logic that turtlenecks are not really considered “outerwear,” but I’m bewildered as to why the school suddenly decided to enforce this technicality. I imagine Mary Caswell turning over in her grave wondering how these “ever graceful halls of learning” will look without a sea of Urban Outfitters skin tight mock necks. Although we still have the option to wear white turtlenecks, the difference between a white and a black turtleneck is quite literally the difference between Kendall Jenner and Velma from Scooby Doo.

Pro: Despite the adversity we face, I believe there’s time to make the most out of junior year. As DJ Khalid says, “They don’t want you to win.” But as DJ Khalid also says, “All we do is win.”