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It’s ClemenTime to say goodbye

graphic by Jena English
graphic by Jena English

I have bad news. This is my last column. In fact, I write my fifth column at the end of my fifth year. It’s very symbolic. So, in order to make this one count, I thought I’d let you know a few tips I’ve learned from attending five years at Marlborough School and writing five columns.
What I’ve learned from five years:
1. This school has an infirmary! For the past couple of years this has been my little secret. Whenever I have cramps or a headache or am just feeling as if I can’t possibly go on, I go to the infirmary, which is located right next to the Middle School Office. It’s a little room, probably a converted closet, with a sink and a bed covered in flimsy sheets. It’s utterly blissful. I’ve been a regular subscriber for five years.
2. If you are struggling in class, meet with your teachers. I’m a huge advocate for this. My teachers have actually made fun of me for meeting with them so frequently. Maybe this is just because I’m prone to struggling, but meeting with teachers has easily saved my life.
3. Start eating your lunch as early as possible. This sounds silly, I know, but eating my lunch in first period helps fuel me through most school days.
4. Interpret the uniform however you want. I believe overalls are a part of the uniform because they’re basically black pants. I also believe that navy is the same color as black and that “athletic soles” are a myth. That being said, you should also be graceful and understanding when your advisor tells you that you have received another conduct infraction.
5. Don’t take it too hard if a teacher draws a crying face on one of your tests. Don’t worry if the tears that face is crying end in a puddle that says “meet with me.” Clearly you had no idea what was going on and were beyond help anyway. Plus, it’ll make a sensational story, and you can use that opportunity to meet with your teacher!
What I’ve learned from five columns:
1. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself publicly by admitting all the stupid things you’ve done. It’s actually great fun to fess up.
2. If you’re full-on grimacing in your school photo, tell everyone that it was totally on purpose and recreate your whole persona to match your unsmiling picture.
3. Having a jaunty name like “It’s ClemenTime” makes you feel ready for anything. If you’re ever feeling down, you can whisper such a slogan to yourself and feel immediately uplifted.
4. Sometimes thinking about what you’re going to write is an incredibly stressful process, but you have to take a side on an issue, be it anything from boyfriends to height, and be confident! Be confident!!!
5. And last: writing a column is a great way to share your opinion and your stories and your perspective with the community. I would highly recommend this position to anyone and everyone, especially because we need a columnist for next year!