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How to Decide if You’re Ready For Sex

Right Time
Graphic by Kai ’13

Many girls stress out when contemplating the right time to have sex. Each girl asks for a defined right time, but the right time is different for everyone. Here are some tips you could consider when making this highly personal decision:

Do choose the right person.

It is important to share sex with someone you care about rather than a boy you’ve been talking to this past week on Facebook who just wants to use you for his own enjoyment. Your first time should be with someone you respect and trust, someone who values your relationship and respects and trusts you in return. If your partner is trying to pressure you into sex, insisting that a certain number of weeks or months together necessitates taking the next step, he or she is probably not the right choice.

Do consider your religious beliefs.

Some religions, such as Catholicism, preach that sex is for the sole purpose of producing children and that all premarital sex is sinful. Other religions such as Judaism are more accepting of sex before marriage.

Do some self-reflection.

Girls need to understand the importance of the decision they are making and how life-changing it may be. A girl who rushes into having sex before she’s ready may end up dissatisfied and unhappy.

Do  use adequate protection.

In 9th Grade, every Marlborough student takes part in the mandatory semester of Health, featuring sex education with physical education instructor Tinka Brown. However, knowledge of protection can only get you so far: you can miss taking a birth control pill or a condom can break. It is safest to use multiple methods in case one fails. Although the class is very informative, finishing it doesn’t mean students are fully ready to go out into the world and start having sex.

Don’t  compare yourself to Rachel and Finn.

The prevalence of casual sex on TV can pressure girls into having sex before they are ready by implying that everyone else is doing it. The real truth, however, is that only 33% to 38% of high school students are sexually active, according to the Child Trends Data Bank. Teens should understand that teen sex in the media reflects not reality but a desire to attract viewers.

Don’t  worry about your classmates.

Girls shouldn’t subscribe to arbitrary social deadlines about when is the right time, such as senior year of high school or freshman year of college. Just because other girls are having sex does not mean you have to.