The Uniform Committee, composed of two girls from each grade (except 12th), in addition to parent and faculty representatives, is meeting to discuss a possible revamp of the Uniform Code. In this edition of The M, we’d like to add some of our own suggestions about what to improve about our uniform.
We hope that these suggestions will be taken into consideration!
– You have to wear make-up every single day, with orange lipstick, black facial powder and bright pink mascara.
– Your skirts can only be four-inches long at the maximum.
– Your polo shirts have to be neon yellow.
– You have to balance a heavy textbook on your head the whole day.
– You must wear giant purple bows to show Marlborough spirit.
– You must wear purple-spotted converse.
– In the winter, you must have a green blanket with butterflies on it.
– You have to have five purple flowers tied to your shirt every day.
– You have to wear bright orange earplugs every time you go to Café M at lunch to show your disapproval of the deafening noise.
– You can’t wear shoes in the ARC.
– You have to have a hamburger in your mouth at all times because everyone knows that’s much more fashionable than a boring empty mouth. No exceptions!
– You can only have unnaturally dyed hair.
– You always have to have math problems written on your legs in order to let the world know how smart you are.
– Bright purple hair would show Marlborough spirit.
– You can wear skinny jeans and stilettos every other Tuesday.
– You may wear red contacts, fangs and pale silver sparkles every day to show your love of vampires.
CONSEQUENCES FOR NOT OBEYING THE UNIFORM CODE:
– You have to drink pickle juice.
– You have to gulp down an entire jar of mayonnaise.
– You have to get a buzz cut.