Jean '27
The only constant in life is change. The greek philosopher Heraclitus expressed this idea more than two thousand years ago, yet humans still resist change more than anything. Despite the constant adaptation of policies and programs, even the simple movement of a table 30 feet away can prompt annoyance and disgust.
This resistance isn’t just stubbornness to seemingly small changes; it’s rooted in the brain. Humans have evolved to stick to familiar environments for survival. Changing environments push someone out of their comfort zone, and straying away from a familiar place or routine signaled imminent danger for early humans. Anything even slightly out of the ordinary could have been seen as a threat to their very existence. Today, while the stakes have been significantly lowered over time, the same discomfort remains.
For teenagers, this resistance is heightened by the way their brains are developing. As young children, they often see the world and authority figures through an idealized lens without noticing their flaws. However, as they enter adolescence, they begin forming their own opinions and ideas, a shift powered by the development of the frontal lobe. This region of the brain is in charge of decision-making, emotional regulation and higher-level functions. But it also develops slowly, which explains why teenagers sometimes react so strongly to disruption.
Science Instructor Allison Ponzio earned her doctorate in gerontology, the study of the process of aging. She explained that as the frontal lobe develops, it manages the amygdala, the brain region that dictates emotional processing and fear conditioning. Frontal lobes fully develop around the age of 25, and so without it being fully developed during their adolescent years, changing circumstances trigger teenagers’ fight-or-flight response.
Furthermore, Ponzio described that while one’s personality is largely defined by the time they reach high school, their willingness to adapt to change is in flux. She explained that having a narrow perspective is developmentally appropriate for teenagers.
“[Teenagers] don’t have enough fully developed frontal lobe to see the big picture sometimes,” Ponzio said. “In this phase of life, teens can be hard-wired to resist change because you’re more wary of adults’ big picture plans.”
Ponzio also cited developmental psychologist Erik Erikson to explain that it is normal for teens to focus on themselves during this stage of life to explore their individual identities. This focus, though sometimes frustrating to adults, is essential for teens to confidently transition into adulthood. To understand how they want to define and spend the rest of their lives, teenagers narrow their focus, sometimes at the expense of viewing the whole picture.
“Teenagers have to be very self focused in order to figure out who they are so that they can jump to the next phase of development,” Ponzio said.
At Marlborough, that instinct for control often collides with school policies. When Yondr pouches were first introduced for the 2024-25 school year, they were vehemently opposed by a large portion of the student population. Growing up with constant access to devices made the restriction feel like an infringement on their autonomy, although administrators had found through research that phones can be extremely disruptive to young minds, especially in a learning environment. The change was shocking, and many students were unwilling to acknowledge the benefits.
“Particularly with Yondr pouches, students were hesitant because the policy felt like an extension of administration’s control over the already limited control teenagers have over their lives,” Ruby ’26 said. “It is difficult to find the balance between understanding the limitations of your knowledge of what is best for you and also being receptive to what is best for you from others.”
Ponzio also commented on the initial negative reactions of students despite positive intentions of those enforcing the changes.
“Sometimes the kindest thing for adults to do is the thing you think is the meanest thing to do,” Ponzio said.
Although reactions may be negative at first, students and teachers alike have noted how they become accustomed to change. English Instructor Caitlin Newby ’09, for example, once resented the dress code as a Marlborough student. She recalled infrequently wearing a polo as a teenage Marlborough student, but now she understands the importance of following the dress code and advises students to adhere to it.
“I have a different perspective on the ‘why’ than when I was a student,” Newby said.
The broader world reflects a similar struggle between resisting and embracing change. According to the Monroe Institute, an organization dedicated to researching human consciousness, the COVID-19 pandemic launched society into a new technological revolution, causing the world to grow, evolve and change around us. Some of these evolutions included a rise in the publicity and accessibility of protests and resistance movements, with clips frequently being shared on social media. Combined with the innate desire for increased autonomy during adolescent years, teens are more vocal about their opposition to policies than ever before.
“Students are more confident and assertive of [their] own voices and [their] own perspectives and beliefs now than when I was a student,” Newby said.
Ponzio also pointed to socioemotional selective theory, developed by Stanford professor Laura Carstensen, which helps explain how people’s goals shift across their lifespan. Younger people seek spontaneous, sensory experiences even at the risk of mistakes. They make new friends and try to grow while not always making the best decisions. As people age, spontaneity tends to decrease, and they focus on what is most important to them.
“The older we get, the more we want to pull the closest people to us even closer,” Ponzio said. “We invest more in the people and things that are important to us, and the periphery starts to become less important.”
Young people make hasty decisions as they pursue knowledge-related goals, shifting focus to decipher how to become an adult. However, older individuals seek emotionally fulfilling goals such as investing time in who and what matters, as they accept that their time is coming to an end.
Even in their limited time in school, students’ goal-driven behavior changes as they reach their final years at Marlborough. Lilly ’26 has witnessed this and said that spending time in the senior lounge has allowed seniors to understand what is truly important in their limited months left together: each other.
“Because we all have that space, we can focus on one another,” Lilly ’26 said. “I’m accepting all these new friendships with people that I wouldn’t normally talk to.”
If resisting change is instinctive, adapting to it is the skill that keeps us moving forward. While teenagers may be hardwired to cling to the familiar, they are also capable of remarkable adaptability. The real challenge lies in learning how to balance the comfort of having a known routine with the growth that results from new experiences.
Director of Education and Counseling Services Morgan Duggan explained that much of this struggle begins in the brain itself. The fear of the unexpected prevents people from branching out of their comfort zones and into unfamiliar situations. Just as our bodies regulate blood pressure or temperature to maintain stability, our minds crave familiarity.
“As humans, our brains love predictability,” Duggan said. “It is also the case that we want to have a predictable routine.”
When unfamiliar situations arise, the brain enters the fight or flight mode, pulling focus away from everyday needs and signaling that our bodies must prioritize our safety and well-being. But Duggan emphasized that resisting change is only the first step, and people are equally capable of adapting when given the tools and time. One of her recommendations for people to adapt to change is to ease into it gradually rather than all at once.
“Some of my suggestions are to gradually expose yourself to some change,” Duggan said. “Finding routines, even small ones like consistent daily habits, can give the body enough predictability to embrace change.”
Mindfulness, Duggan added, can also help. Carving out just a few minutes daily for grounding practices or breathing exercises can calm racing thoughts and create rhythm during otherwise stressful transitions. Building a routine creates a place where one can fall back to for stability, even during change.
“Especially if you are somebody who is doing a lot of performing or you have pressure in your life to meet a certain standard, it really helps to slow things down a bit,” Duggan said.
Incorporating intentional pauses and self-care practices can further ease the process of adaptation, which makes change less intimidating and much more manageable.
For many adolescents, entering a new school environment is one of the biggest transitions they face growing up. Transitioning into an unfamiliar campus and culture can feel overwhelming, but once someone overcomes it, it marks a defining experience to thrive in changing situations. Nina ’27, who transferred from a French-speaking middle school, recalled her initial struggles with adjusting to new terminology and coursework.
“Science was very different because the terms used were very dissimilar. It was weird at first having to catch up on things I had never learned in English,” Nina said.
Nina said she relied on a “fake it till you make it” mentality, which helped her adjust more quickly. Duggan noted that many new students face not only academic challenges, but also the psychological phenomenon of imposter syndrome: the feeling of inadequacy or fraudulence in comparison to peers. High-achieving young women, in particular, may doubt their abilities or fear rejection, raising the stakes of change.
Social adaptation can be just as daunting. Entering a new environment where friendships are already solidified often magnifies feelings of isolation. Duggan encourages students to take that step, to take that risk, even if it feels uncomfortable.
“Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there, and ‘do it all scared’ as they say,” Duggan said. “And trust somebody if they have a neutral reaction, maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”
Psychologists emphasize that humans are deeply sensitive to social cues, and even a neutral response can feel like rejection. According to the researchers at the National Library of Medicine, as a society, humans depend heavily on how others perceive them. They documented how self-esteem often hinges on validation from others, and rejection adds to the fear of change. By not changing, people feel that they are accepted and within their comfort zone, making them reluctant to leave it. Learning to push through this discomfort, however, can help students build resilience. Ponzio agreed, noting that repeated exposure makes people more accepting over time.
“The more you’re exposed to differing ideas, ultimately the more accepting you are of [change],” Ponzio said.
Furthermore, the school’s focus on experimental learning through activities like roundtables, collaborative projects and student-led discussions not only fosters students’ ability to adapt to change but also simulates real-world situations where adaptability is crucial. By engaging in diverse projects that require critical thinking from multiple perspectives, students are put into situations where flexibility and adaptability are crucial. These experiences encourage students to listen actively, consider different perspectives and broaden their understanding, which in turn helps them develop confidence in their own voices. Simultaneously, such collaborative efforts also strengthen the sense of community within the school.
While a strong community cannot by itself enitrely change easier, it acts as a supportive environment where students can explore new ideas and take change head-on. Knowing that one will have a supportive community behind them reassures students that, no matter what the outcome is, they have a system in place to catch them if they stray too far out of their comfort zone. Marlborough’s commitment to building this sense of community through events like Homecoming Week and Spirit Week, where students and grades work together, helps create stronger bonds between classmates.
At Marlborough, traditions like Pin and Ring Ceremonies, along with yearly increases in academic and extracurricular responsibilities, create built-in checkpoints for students to ease into change. These milestones mark progress for students while reminding them that growth comes with change, and though it often comes through moments of discomfort, change is not something that we should shy away from. Rather than stalling to step out of your comfort zone, these milestones encourage reflection, resilience and a deeper sense of belonging. Through these ceremonies, change at Marlborough has become less of a disruption and instead an opportunity to embrace change.
Many seniors find the ring ceremony to be a deeply meaningful event. They feel that participating in multiple formal run-throughs helped them connect more personally with the significance of the ceremony. The preparation and symbolism behind the ring make it more than just a piece of jewelry that serves as a daily reminder of their personal growth and achievements. The rings act as a tangible token of support, representing that there is support available for them.
Because these ceremonies often take place during pivotal moments in high school, such as the beginning of freshman and senior year, these moments encourage students to reflect on their evolution and to appreciate how far they have come.
Seniors have also said that these ceremonies provide a sense of grounding as academic demands increase, offering something to look forward to during stressful periods. While the Pin Ceremony is more of a school-wide event celebrating all graduates, the Ring Ceremony tends to symbolize personal transformation. It gives students a chance to symbolically join the larger Marlborough community, almost as if it is a first step into the real-life world.
Recognizing and accepting change as a natural part of life helps students develop a healthier mindset and prepares them for future challenges. Embracing change means seeing it as an opportunity for development rather than an obstacle to overcome. It encourages a proactive attitude, where students welcome new experiences and learn from them. Other students echoed this sentiment, describing these ceremonies as a moment of realization — change is not just inevitable, but meaningful.
“The important thing about Marlborough is that we change each year, not just academically, but us as individuals, and they allow us to celebrate that change,” Tali ’26 said.