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Your Waitress is Probably Smarter Than You: Part 2

If we are to continue our discussion of my adventures working as a hostess, let’s be honest: There is a reason why the bleach-blonde, round-lipped waitress of twenty brings home $80 more per shift than the average server. This objectively cute girl is what one calls a “PYT”—or “pretty young thang”—and she is not afraid to manipulate older white men into shelling out the contents of their wallets for some of her attention. Such situations bring to mind several troubling questions: Is her behavior sexist? Yeah. Is it feminist? Maybe. Is it ethical? Who is to say? When you are confronted with these dilemmas on a daily basis, it is important to define your boundaries. Allow me to think aloud and figure out what I would do in order to supplement my minimum-wage earnings.

1. Would I, upon request, serenade a geriatric man on his 76th birthday for a $20 tip?

Answer: I would, and I did.

2.  Would I shimmy on over to a table full of young policemen and sit with them for a minute so that my friend who is serving them might get a better tip? Let’s say that his wife just gave birth to twins and he is in desperate need of more money.

Answer: Maybe. But I would definitely ask that he split the tip with me. I too have major financial obligations, such as buying shoes and contributing $30 a week to my college savings.

3. Would I commiserate with a fat redneck about how 9/11 was an inside job and how Barack Obama is a socialist who is driving our nation into the ground?

Answer: See answer to number one. I am not proud of what I’ve done.