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Haven’t You Wondered: Mythbusters!

MIDNIGHT MISCHIEF: Madeline '12 shows how a UV staff member broke into campus. Photo by Elyse '12

I don’t want to sound like a character out of Mean Girls, but at a small school like Marlborough, rumors can spread fast.  This is my third year here, and I’ve heard my fair share of far-out stories.  This issue’s edition of the Haven’t You Wondered column was based entirely on a conversation that the UV staff had one day.  Each of us had heard a myth that we didn’t believe to be true, so we decided to find out.  I asked everyone from seventh graders to seniors to even some faculty, to get familiar with the myths that are out there.  After careful research, investigation and a few CSI-like moments, I have discovered the truth. And the truth might just shock you.

Myth #1 You can wear free dress on a normal school day and get away with it if you say you’re going on a field trip: TRUE. I wore jeans and Toms shoes on an average Wednesday, and easily got away with it.  At one point during the day, English instructor Chris Thompson jokingly threatened to give me a demerit for my shoes, without noticing my jeans.  Sure, my friends noticed, but I was able to put their queries to rest by making up a different excuse each time. If someone asked me about my attire early on in the day, I said that I was going on a field trip, but if it was after lunch, I told them that I was leaving early.

Myth #2 It is impossible to break into school on a weekend: FALSE. It can be done, ladies. A certain UV staff member (whose name has been removed for her protection) left her laptop at school over the weekend.  Since no one was at school, she took matters into her own hands and figured out her way into the UV room using her keen sense of direction and a little bit of luck.  This fence-hopping spy utilized the multiple freight and back elevators, and eventually retrieved her laptop.  While it might be possible to break into school, don’t let the thought percolate too long in your heads.  Unless you’re this particular reporter-ninja, this probably is not the challenge for you.

Myth #3 If a teacher is not present in a class for 15 minutes, then the students can leave: FALSE. This is a rumor we’ve all heard, but one that must be put to end.  It sounds great, but if a teacher is not able to show up to a class, another teacher will come to supervise.  Usually, the substitute will do a low-maintenance class activity, and the class might be let out early.  A common misconception is that students are just able to leave after these infamous 15 minutes.  Save yourself the embarrassment of walking out on a class, and just stay tight in your seats on this one.

Myth #4 If you stick your head in Stork Fountain after midnight and clap your hands three times behind your back, then the ghost of Mary Caswell will come and stab you in the head in a Sally Mustang costume: FALSE. Yes, I tested this myth, and let me tell you that a ghost in a furry horse costume did not come and kill me, but I did have to return to writing my feature article with soaking wet hair. If you want to check the authenticity of this myth for yourself, and I’m not sure why you would, have a towel and a hairdryer handy…and perhaps a friend or two, just in case Mary pays you a midnight visit.